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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544816">An Unexpected Zedither Zedventure</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeSwift99/pseuds/ShadeSwift99'>ShadeSwift99</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anyway enjoy this thing I blacked out and wrote after Zed's latest episode, Comedy, Don't know how else to tag this, Fun, Gen, also tag wranglers I cannot stress enough that nobody is using the Hermitcraft tag to write rpf, it's really just 2000+ words of unbridled ZT chaos, just a whole lot of chaotic fun, take it out of that category challenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:42:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeSwift99/pseuds/ShadeSwift99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So remember that Zedither Zed built in his latest episode? Remember how it didn't work? Well, what if it did?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>An Unexpected Zedither Zedventure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This came to me in a dream while watching the latest Zepisode and I couldn't NOT write it. Enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Heyyyy, Tango, how’s it going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango knew that tone of voice. He had heard it many times. It was not a tone that usually led to him finishing his lunch without an Incident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Zed,” he sighed heavily, finishing his bite of bread and standing up. He took his time in turning to face his friend, trying to enjoy the clear sky and cool breeze before he would have to contend with whatever the latest science-based catastrophe turned out to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice towers you got here.” Zed casually stalled, looking anywhere but Tango. “False has good taste. You have any plans for what to do with them yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango brushed the crumbs from his hands on his pant legs and crossed his arms. “Out with it. You’re not here to complement my towers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m here to complement them! That’s what friends are for!” Zed spread his arms wide and rearranged his face into the picture of innocence. “I’m just...not...only here to complement the towers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is the problem?” Tango smirked. “Well, the real problem is standing in front of me, but where is the problem you caused?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey! It’s not necessarily a problem!” Zed protested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An unplanned event of obstacle-creating nature?” Tango offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed looked sheepish. “Yeah, that….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Tango took out a stack of rockets and prepared for his lunch break to get a little more exciting. As much as he grumbled and groaned about Zed coming to him for help, he did the exact same thing almost as often. It was always a toss-up as to whether the visit would actually be about problem solving, or if it was more about an excuse to talk to each other. He silently hoped it was the latter this time. As much as he could use a little fun, a genuine issue wasn’t what he wanted to be dealing with when half a sandwich was still calling his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, to your new base then?” He snapped open his elytra.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! No, I mean, ah, might not be the best idea, at least not yet,” Zed stammered. “It’s a little...unusable at the moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a quick fix type of issue, then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oookay.” Tango put his rockets away and looked Zed in the eyes. “We’re going to figure this out, but I’m going to need a few more details about….”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Uh oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tango froze. That Wither summoning noise he’d heard earlier. He’d assumed it was just Impulse at his farm in the End, but…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zed. Did you summon a Wither at Grian’s base?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s my base now, so not exactly -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zed!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s not really a Wither either!” Zed raised his hands defensively. “I found a few Zedaph heads in a chest somewhere and I was just messing around and I never thought it would actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>work</span>
  </em>
  <span> -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango stared at him blankly for a moment, his brain still catching up with the words. Finally, the mental image of what Zedaph was implying painted itself across his mind, and he burst into uproarious laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not funny!” Zed complained as Tango wheezed. “It’s causing quite the ruckus!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it is,” Tango chortled, leaning against the wall. “Does that kind of Wither still spit skulls, or are those also Zedaph heads -” He broke off in a renewed fit of giggles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed finally let himself laugh with him. “No, it’s not really doing the skulls and deadly destruction thing, it’s more - come on, I’ll just show you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Tango had stopped laughing enough to fly, they headed over to Grian’s - now Zedaph’s - mansion. Apparently, they couldn’t use the Nether because the Zedither had “done something” to the portal. Tango didn’t doubt it. As they approached the house, he could already hear the sound of pistons clanking, TnT igniting, and dispensers...well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dispensing</span>
  </em>
  <span> ringing through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really know what its targeting method is,” Zed whispered as they landed behind a jungle tree. “I don’t know if it sees like a normal Wither, or if it can detect you through blocks, or if it can even see me at all, actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why were you so freaked out?” Tango whispered back. “If it wasn’t even attacking you, why did you need help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I never said it wasn’t attacking me. I’m not sure if it even looked at me, but I think one of the heads can sense life force or something. That one looks a bit like Zedeath. The other head is just me, and the third one is -” Zed stopped abruptly. His eyes flew wide as though realising something. “Ah, actually I think I can take it from here, I think you’re good to just go back to your base and -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango sighed. Fine, he’d play along again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the third head is Wormman, who is of no relation to you but he’s still there for some reason. Got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Zed let out a breath and gave Tango a quick, grateful glance. “That.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango peeked around the tree trunk, but he couldn’t see past the mansion’s grand entrance. “So, what do an avatar of death, a superhero, and a kinda mediocre guy -” he dodged out of the way as Zed tried to punch his arm “- I mean a redstone genius do when they’re stuck on the same flying body together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed tugged at his sleeve and nodded toward the door. “I’ll show you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They crept up the path that led to the mansion, Tango wishing all the while that Grian hadn’t cleared so many trees from around its base. Using the shadow of the stairs as cover, Zed brought them to a place where they could just barely peek inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That,” he whispered, gesturing to the opening. “That’s what it does.”</span>
</p><p><span>Even before Tango looked, he could hear a three part cacophony of thoughtful muttering resonating from the thing that lurked inside. Slowly inching his head around the corner, he could see the back of something - </span><em><span>someone?</span></em><span> - </span><em><span>someones?</span></em><span> - hunched over what looked to be an incomprehensible array of redstone circuitry. The headache inducing mess stretched up the pillars and across the arches on the ceiling, swooping back down to wind through the villager trading pit, coiling into the air and defying gravity, twisting back around to plunge through the door and back in through the window...Tango felt dizzy as he tried to discern its purpose. It looked genius, revolutionary, and he was sure he could replicate it if he only knew what it </span><em><span>did</span></em><span>...he thought he saw a hopper clock but he had no idea what it was connected to. </span><em><span>Is that a TnT duper? But it’s in the middle of the most complex part of the circuit, surely all that redstone would get blown up, how - !</span></em> <em><span>Surely that can’t be a pig next to that comparator, and where does that observer feed into...</span></em></p><p>
  <span>The sharp pain in his head subsided as Zed yanked him back behind the doorway. He blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes, trying to rid them of the imprint that staring at that monstrosity had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, that’s why I said it was dangerous,” Zed murmured. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to look at it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango didn’t bother asking how this scientific abomination could hypnotize people with the power of confusing circuits alone. He knew asking questions would only make his head hurt more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what do we do with it? Would it work to just hit it with a sword?” Tango suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed pulled a face. “I don’t really want to kill it...it’s just chilling out, really. It’s just that I’d rather it not ‘chill out’ in my new base.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we just need to get it to leave, then.” Tango looked around him, sizing up the environment and contemplating how it would fit into his slowly forming plan. “This is a pretty populated area. We need to get it far away from here, into chunks where it won’t be bothering anyone. Do you think it would follow us fast enough if we flew?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably, but we’d have to give it a good enough reason.” Zed peeked around the corner himself, then quickly withdrew. “It seems pretty dead set on turning my base into its own personal laboratory. Plus, the heads keep fighting between themselves. I think they all want different things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…then, we need to find something that all of the heads want. It’s the only way to lure it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Self-centered as it was, Tango himself might be the best option for luring purposes. Zedeath would be interested in claiming his soul, and of course regular Zed would follow him, but the issue lay with Wormman. He wasn’t nearly as familiar with the heroic alter-ego, so Tango wasn’t sure that he alone would be enough to motivate the Zedither to abandon its project. No, they would need something...warm. Fluffy. Living. Perfect for motivating any and all versions of Zedaph. Sheep, sheep were the answer, the breakthrough he needed! It was time to put the Aerial Sheep Service back in business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango raised his head and grinned with the triumph of a man who has just created a solution using nothing but the power of ingenuity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it! The only thing that can solve this problem is A.S.S.!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zedaph blinked. “I beg your pardon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango’s brain belatedly caught up with his mouth, and he snickered. “Erm, what I meant to say is, we need to fly a sheep through the air to lure the Zedither. Like we did for the Aerial Sheep Service back in the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! I don’t know why I didn’t think of that earlier!” Zed produced a lead from his inventory and glanced around hopefully. “Please, don’t tell me Grian killed all the sheep in the area…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not quite all of them.” Tango pointed at a bush across the path. A small, cross-eyed face peeked out from behind the foliage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed’s eyes gleamed with the anticipation of the hunt. Slowly, carefully, he crept across the pathway, his steps as soft as a cat’s so as to not alert the -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do know sheep don’t run away from players, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed straightened from his hunter’s crouch and rubbed his neck - well - sheepishly. “Oh. Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango watched Zed loop the lead around the sheep’s middle, making sure it was secure. Yes, they were using this poor thing as bait, but he supposed it was still best to make sure it didn’t fall. That would be a little cruel, and besides, it probably wouldn’t make the Zedither very happy with them. The last thing he wanted was to find out if Zedaph heads explode when thrown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it ready yet?” He whispered across to Zedaph.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Am I holding it, or are you?” He replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango gulped. As always, there was the safe answer, and then there was the one that made the most sense. Why, why couldn’t they ever be the same thing….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m flying,” he said quickly, before he could chicken out. Zedaph was the best one, if not the only one, to predict this thing’s movements. He would be most valuable as a spotter, telling Tango what the creature was doing when his back was turned. It was logical, but that didn’t mean Tango had to like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, suit yourself.” Zed handed him the lead. “Better get a move on before it decides to start trying tunnel bore machines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango gulped. He was suddenly regretting eating even half of that sandwich. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well, waiting doesn’t make it any less likely to kill me. Now’s as good a time as any.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He strolled out into the middle of the doorway, in full view of the thing that wore his friend’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey ugly!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,</span>
  <em>
    <span>”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zed hissed from his hiding spot, but the taunt worked. The Zedther’s attention was successfully redirected. It turned to face Tango, all three heads scowling down at him from where it hovered in midair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” The air around the monster hummed, barely perceptible, but still enough to make him cringe. He’d forgotten what it felt like to stand next to a Wither. This one was certainly different, but it still made the familiar old feeling of doom crawl across his skin. “Uh, hey Zeds...is this sheep looking at you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hoisted the lead and took to the skies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s following!” Zed cried. Tango heard the rush of rockets as his friend took off after them. He spared only one look over his shoulder to make sure the report was true, before firing another rocket and picking up the pace. The sheep trailed behind him, face clueless as ever, seemingly completely unaware that it was the turning point of their master plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not toward Mumbo’s base!” Zed yelled. Tango took a hard right and shot off into the spruce forest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nobody lives here, right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He couldn’t be sure. They would just have to keep going until there was no possibility of leaving this thing near anyone else’s part of the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They flew through forests and over deserts, between the towering trees of jungles, across the dusty plains of taigas. Tango worried for his elytra’s durability, but the Unbreaking held strong. He would run out of rockets long before his wings broke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right. Rockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Zed? How’re ya doing in the rocket department? Tango called back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got a little less than half left, so if we leave it here, I’ll only be walking part of the way home.” The wind almost whipped the words away from Tango’s ears, but he caught the idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s leave it here then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found a wide, flat hill and swooped down low to the ground. He leaned back into the air current, breaking until he was drifting along at almost a walking pace. He could feel the Zedither gaining on him - </span>
  <em>
    <span>not yet, not yet, not yet, NOW!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At the last possible moment, Tango released the sheep and shot away into the sky. He turned back briefly to see the animal tumble softly into the grass. All three heads of the Zedither were hovering over it in concern, making various comforting baby noises as the sheep continued to stare in two different directions at once. Tango laughed in relief. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well, that’s one of my weirder errands over with.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He banked in the air and came to glide along next to Zedaph. Bathed in the golden light of the setting sun, they released their rockets and turned towards home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, that was a thing that happened,” Tango reflected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Zed looked thoughtful. “I didn’t even know that that </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango smiled encouragingly. “Well, at least now you know not to do that again, so everything should be just -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s make a Tither next!” Zed’s face shone with the jor of a new, horrible idea yet untested. “I’d say we make an Iither for Impulse, but that’s a lot harder to say so maybe we should wait until -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no!” Tango buried his head in his hands, then quickly had to right his course before he crashed. “No more Hermit Withers! You can take up the issue with Xisuma if you want, but I’ve got a feeling I know what his answer will be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zed gave a mischievous grin. “But you’re not going to tell Xisuma, are you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tango sighed, then smiled. Deep down inside, he actually really did want to know what a Tither would look like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, I’m not going to tell Xisuma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>X would find out on his own eventually. Him, or whoever else decided to venture into the far reaches of the world one day to build a new project. Tango was looking forward to seeing the look on that person’s face, but for now, he was content to leave the past in the past and focus on the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A future which - if they were going to cover up this little incident - would very shortly include tearing down a whole lot of weird redstone.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes I'm supposed to be doing the next chapter of Reflex but SHHHHHH this needed to happen! I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know if you did :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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